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An element of your appearance doesn’t define your sexuality

An element of your apperance doesn’t define your sexuality. A pretty lengthy post title, I think you will agree but I couldn’t think of a sussinct way of putting it without losing the general topic of the post or without it venturing into click-bait territory.


The idea for this post has been tumbiling about in my head for a while and I’ve sat down to try and write it a good few times but for whatever reason writing about anything more serious than lipstick wasn’t coming with much ease. Then my feminist voice had a little rumble followed by an eruption and I sat down to begin to get my thoughts down on laptop and WordPress. So here they are.

You may or may not know that I have a pixie cut and have done for the best part of 8 years. It has become my ‘thing’ a little bit which I am totally fine with, it is an element of my ‘look’ that I love and feel incredibly comfortable having. I feel like a sassy mother fucker and although I have had the odd occasion of thinking I want to, and even attempting, to grow out my hair it never lasts long. One of the rudest comments I ever received was a boy saying ‘Oh I thought you were a lesbian because of your hair.’ It wasn’t rude due to the fact he assumed I was a lesbian, I don’t care if he thought I was or not. What I thought was rude about it was the fact he wanted to vocally project his belief that if a women has short hair then she must be a lesbian. It got me thinking. I thought about three things. The first being, what other elements of a persons appearance do people see and make a sweeping generalisation about their sexuality, for example. Secondly, what other characteristics of a person are judged based on how a person looks – she is incredibly pretty therefore she must be thick? Finally, I thought about how the generalisation reflected on the person making the comment as opposed to the receiver.

Yes, I have short hair but I’m not a lesbian. I like men. I think other women are pretty and attractive but I don’t want to enter into a sexual relationship with them. I have loads of women present in my life that I love dearly yet still not a lesbian. I also know of plenty of females that don’t have short hair but do find other women pretty and attractive as well as having an abundance of women in their lives that they love dearly but they are straight women.

There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, I have no issue if you are a women that is interested in women. That isn’t the issue I want to discuss at all. I think in 2017 we should be able to express ourselves in a manner that allows us to put forth to the world the best version of ourselves both physically and mentally (because as we know it isn’t all just about looks.) Currently the world is in a worrying place with people in powerful positions with very small minded and dangerous views. Trump, I’m talking about Trump.

Being who you want to be and being true to yourself is not an easy thing. It takes courage and it can be extremley challenging to go against the grain. We are all human and we all want to feel accepted and to be accepted. Having someone throw a comment at you that I believe is meant as a cut down can be bruising to your confidence. In my opinion, the boy who made the comment is small minded in his outlook but also felt intimidated by the fact that I was comfortable with who I was and my image that I could cut my hair off and remain strong willed. Maybe he doesn’t like strong, confident females?

Personal expression is a wonderful thing and not something to be taken for granted. Experiment, play around and find your ‘thing’ – you might find many things – because at the end of the day the comments that are thrown at you with the intention of hurting you reflect only on the commenter and not you. Do you.


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