1. In *insert number* years I will be 30.
2. I could stay out till 3am but then again I could get home and get an early night…
3. My bank balance is how much?!
4. So I feel like a whale today.
5. If I’m single at 35, I could always adopt.
6. School children make too much noise in the morning.
7. Red wine. Delicious.
8. Why are boys such dicks?!
9. At my age, Britney had how many albums behind her??!!
10. When I grow up, I want to be a …
11. I should tweeze my eyebrows but then again I could just continue eating this tin of custard.
12. A chippie for dinner more than once a month just isn’t do-able. My metabolism is slowing to a halt.
13. What does council tax actually pay for?
14. Have hairs always grown on my cheek?
15. About 76% of people I went to school with are either married or have children over 3
16. The colour purple does nothing for anyone.