I have been single for my adult life. Single in the sense that I have never had the sit down “Will you be my girlfriend?”/”Will you be my boyfriend?” conversation. There have been long term dalliances, let’s call them dalliances, one lasted over a year and some have lasted a few months. Some lasted a little less time. Nevertheless these have been the relationships that have made up my early to mid 20s. The reasoning behind none of them reaching the oh so important labelling stage are varied. I have a lot to do with it, as does my gentleman suitor of choice and the reason why things happened the way they happened are very clear to me but to be honest there wasn’t any of them that I would have wanted to have the tag of my first ‘real’ boyfriend. So although I have had relationships through the years I have never been truly not single. There are times I get drunk and blab on about how much it irritates me but the sober me knows in the grand scheme of things it isn’t really that important and if we are being honest being single is actually pretty bloody amazing especially as a gal in her mid 20s.
Dating in your 20s isn’t always the most fun you will ever have. Anyone that has ever been on Tinder knows about the messages that you get, I’m sorry but no I don’t want you to blind fold me and touch me up. Even more so do I not want you to do that because this is the first time we have ever spoken and that was your opening line. *Uninstalls app*
Being single is and can be pretty damn great. One friends likes to refer to it as dating herself. She takes herself out for dinner, treats herself to things and generally has a swell time. Sounds great, I know! That is the thing about being single in your 20s. You have a steady job with a little bit of disposable income so why not treat yourself to a new bag, a pair of shoes or a night of drinks in a swanky bar with pals? You can also be selfish. There is no pressure to get up on a Saturday morning to have brunch together before going for a wander round the Farmers market. If you want to lie in bed with the stench of gin seeping out your pores then you bloody well do that. It is entirely dependent on what you actually want – do you want a boyfriend to brunch with of a Saturday morning or do you want a little bit of attention and your single gal life?
Being single doesn’t make you Bridget Jones, far from it actually. First up she is a fictional character that sure we can all draw some similarities to in one way or another but you aren’t her! She is a over generalised version of a single girl made to be entertaining. We have all at one point or another fallen out of a taxi after a few too many gin and slims but that’s okay. My point is your single status doesn’t make you; a saddo, unloved, a loser or desperate. It is just a status and many people who a taken tag round their necks aren’t actually happy in the relationship they are in. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
When you are making big life decisions such as where to buy a flat, what city to live in or whether you can take on some freelance work there isn’t anyone that you really have to consider in the decision. It is entirely your choice and you can carve out your own path without the worry that your other half may not want to do that or may be bothered that you are spending even more time on work related things.
There is also the fact that you get your double bed all to yourself, don’t have to attend another friend that you don’t really knows Birthday drinks and if you want to eat an entire large pizza with sides all to yourself you can without judgement. So next time you are feeling a bit blue about the fact you haven’t found “the one” yet don’t sweat it. Pour yourself a gin and remember it will all be fine.