I had a conversation with one of my very nearest and dearest one evening, after a couple of glasses of vino rouge about friendship. The complexity of it, the wonderfulness of it and how different friends have different roles in our lives.
There are friends that are your ride or die – the soulmates of friends, if you will – the ones that you know if you phoned them at midnight, crying your eyes out about something you’ve probably made into a bigger issue in your head they will be there. They will chat you through whatever is going through your head and make sure you get yourself to bed with a large glass of water waiting for you when you wake up. They know all of it – the good, the bad and the ugly – but they never use it against you or judge you.
Although you have those ride or die friends, the kind you tell things to after your counselling session because you know they care, there are also more social friends. The ones that you share intimate things with such as details of that guy you slept with at the weekend but you don’t really go into the emotional details of it. Not because you feel you can’t, just because well you don’t need to. These friends want to hear the details, “was it good?”, “will you see him again?” and “how long did it last?” which the ride or die will want to hear but you can also tell them that you feel like a horrible, disgusting person for doing it.
Now I’m not putting the social friends down as less important than the ride or dies. Not at all. All friends in our lives play a role and have a purpose. The social friends are the ones that you can rely on when you just need a good time but even if you do get totally smashed on tequila shots and cry about something random they will be there to comfort you and support you. They will celebrate your wins and offer support during the lows, they are friends and they care.
You have friends that are your soulmates and I genuinely believe that you can have friends who are soulmates and you have the friends you can always rely on for a nightout and the ones you can rely on to talk to you about the geeky programmes and books you love. There are friends that you don’t really scratch the surface with certain things and others where they have seen you at your worst.
Basically, what I am trying to get at is that all friends are important and valueable in our lives despite what ‘type’ of friend they are. At the end of the day, they all care about you and want the best for you even if they are your nightout buddy or are your ride or die.