“The rise of the internet and particularly app dating has made it even more of a mind fuck, pardon my French. I guess it has the same effect on individuals as Social Media in that you can hide behind a screen and in turn say whatever you want without any consequences.”
Dating in 2017 is a mine field. I’ve spoken with many a single compadre about this and they have all agreed just how awful it can be. It can be fun, I won’t tar it all with the same brush – it should be fun – but it can also be an incredibly confusing, off putting and scary place to be. The rise of the internet and particularly app dating has made it even more of a mind fuck, pardon my French. I guess it has the same effect on individuals as Social Media in that you can hide behind a screen and in turn say whatever you want without any consequences. Internet or app dating is by no means all doom and gloom, there are plenty of people that have met people this way that have become long term, serious adult relationships but in my experience over the last 6-9 months it has been pretty grim.
Tinder has a reputation of being a ‘hook-up’ app, full of single (and sometimes not single) guys and gals looking for a quick hook up without any strings. I am in by no way judging these people, that’s fine if that is what you want. Go for it, I went to uni! I am by no means against trying out things in order to determine what you like, that is fine. What I do have an issue with is the manner in which you can be spoken to on dating apps. The things that individuals think it is ok to say. For example, asking if you are dom or sub. I dare you to come up to me in a bar and ask that because chances are you won’t. Sending dick pics is another thing I don’t get, I realise you can’t actually send images on Tinder it has to happen when you’ve moved the conversation into Whats App, for example. I understand some girls out there may enjoy a dick pics and that is fine, go for it. I just don’t get them. What am I meant to do with a picture of a cock? The cock of a man that I have never met before in person and have only seen their face via a few no doubt carefully seleceted pictures. When has it become normal for a guy to whip out their tadger and take a picture of it before sending it onto a girl? At what point did it change and people thought ah ok, this is normal? Maybe I missed a whole portion of the evolution of dating but in my eyes it’s just not sexy, alluring or in any way something I would encourage.
While speaking to my mother about dating and the old love life she was horrified to hear what I had been sent, she was in the same mindset as I was. Why would you do that? What are you meant to do with that picture?
Following on from dick pics, the next thing I don’t get is voice notes. Type me a message, don’t send me a 30 second clip of you speaking. I have no use for this. I don’t want it to be quite honest. Apparently this is more of a new way of communicating that the kids are down with these days as opposed to something that is exclusively for that Tinder match that has moved onto other messaging platforms but still. Outwith dating or in, it baffles me why I would want to send my friend a voice note nevermind send one to a potential male companion. Call me old fashioned.
It may be the feminist in me that finds dick pics off putting or it may be that as much as I don’t want to admit it, I am a bit of a prude. Either way, I would love to see a man brave enough to approach a woman in a bar and whip out their penis. Chances are they wouldn’t be brave enough – exlcude the fact that they potentially could be arrested for indecent exposure. Yes, Tinder has a reputation as a hook up app and yes if you did start seeing this male then you probably would see their willy but after saying hello and passing the time of day politely it isn’t ok to just drop that image into your WhatApp inbox.