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Two Five.

Person: “25 years, that’s a quarter of a Century!”

Me: “Why, yes, it is indeed that.”

The 31st of October 2014 marks my 25th Birthday. Part of me is screaming ‘Oh Jesus, 25!!’ and then the other part of me is completely calm about it. (Note the use of the word completely as it seems my buzz word of the moment is totally. Must use other words.)  With 25 approaching, I figured a list of things you should realise/remember on the approach to 25 might be … insightful (wrong use of that word right thur!)

1. Have a 25th Birthday like no other. You aren’t too old to not have a fabulous night out that involves activities that you should no better than to do, have too much Tequila and wake up on your bathroom shoe spooning the bath. This is acceptable. You are an adult.

2. Remember that moisturising is for your benefit and no one else. The only person to blame for your flaky, aged skin… yourself! You can’t always blame the AC or the Central Heating. Get that Nivea slabbered on STAT.

3. Getting drunk of a night and going to a Discotheque in your City of choice – particularly a University City, I live in one of these – will make you feel old. All these baby faced guys and gals dancing the night away and not manging to get so drunk they fall asleep in the corner of the club. Ah they were the day.s

4. Your life plan that you thought up however many years ago probably isn’t where you had thought you would be. No long term boyfriend with husband potential in sight… So that plan is sucupurred.

5. Periods. They still come once a month and do not by any means get easier. At all. They can cause menstrual outbursts of tears, anger and general frustrations which in an office environment can be a little awkward but women get it, men don’t. What is new there?!

6. Cotton briefs trump lacy thongs any day. Who wants a bit of lacy dental floss splitting the difference day in day out when you can have a full pair of cotton briefs with a Super Hero ‘E’ on the front — for Emma, thanks Mum for these! Lacy underwear is reserved for ahem special occasions but these are generally unplanned so a cotton brief is normally the knicker of choice for sexy time.

7. Bra shopping is beyond difficult. You will have an eternal struggle to find that fit you love that does what you want it to do to your lovely lady lumps. Even at the age of 25, you will throw a child like strop in the foundation garment department because you can’t find what you want.

8. Who has the time to keep those legs hair free? I mean, really. Unless there is an event that requires getting your legs out, the chances of actually getting out that bottle of shaving foam and razor to de-fuzz those pins is slim. Lets face it – as a younger twenties gal shaving legs wasn’t top of the to do list and it still isn’t!! Winter is a lovely period – tights, trousers and fuzzy legs. Bliss.

9. Not everyone is going to like you. It is a fact of life. Some people you just won’t get on with be it for your attitude or outlook on life, your sense of humour or maybe even just your music taste – it happens. It’s ok though, this way the people you get on well with will normally become your good friends and you will enjoy the time spent with these people.

10. Early nights don’t hurt. Sleep is good for you, your skin repairs itself while you sleep and nothing makes you feel better than getting an early night. Hot bath, jammies and bed by 9 *cough eight* won’t do you any harm.

11. A big decision is between whether to have a Gin or a Vodka. Tricky and could impact on the rest of your night — queue tears or anger black out or if you are really lucky you will have an amazing time and spend the rest of the following day in total darkness with gentle speakers.

12. A good winter coat is an investment. Long enough to cover your kidneys, a good thick material and even higher in the coat stakes if said investment coat has a hood. #rememberwhatyourgrannysaid

13. As a 24 year old there were those dreaded and horrible feeling fat days. Sadly these will continue into the second half of your twenties. You may feel like you have gained 100 pounds in a matter of 2 hours but you actually haven’t! It is just one of those days. Get a bit of exercise or have a cocktail — you haven’t magically gained weight.

14. Having a few good friends 100% trumps having a mass of friends that are the flakiest things out. By this point, you shouldn’t care about being Miss Popular – that phase has come and gone in Secondary School and was as meaningless then as it is now. Good friends that actually value your drunken emotional breakdowns about irrational things are the ones you want to stick around long enough to see you get married, get that promotion or buy your first house.

15. Balance. Work and life. Out and in (as in going out and staying in, you dirty minded people.) Food and exercise. Keep it balanced my little chummies.

16. 90s fashion is not for you (or anyone!) It was bad enough first time round so please please leave this horrific trend to the teenagers who will look back on it in years to come and cringe. A teenager pulls it off slightly better than some one in their twenties.

17. You’re 25, not 105. Don’t sweat it — no one is getting younger!

18. You don’t always need to be nice to everyone. Sometimes you need to be pushy, assertive *Note: not aggressive* and dig your heels in. Pick and choose when to do this though, no one wants to be known as the pushy office bitch!

19. Buying a house or flat is tricky. Really tricky. Especially on that entry level wage and the amount you spend on clothes every month. SAVE — it’s hard but lets face it, if you actually want to purchase that shiny new flat that you can have exactly as they want it then you are going to have to leave that pretty top in Zara for someone else. #toughlove

20. Read. Books. Good books. Just get away from screens … or you’ll get square eyes!

21. There is nothing wrong with needing a cuddle from your mum even at the grand age of 25. Sometimes it is all you need.

22. You can’t constantly eat crap any more and stay at your skinny weight. Your metabolism is slowing down and some form of balance is required. See 15.

23. Invest in good — this may been expensive — mascara and foundation. These are the essential products that need to be good. They are the base of yo face! Invest, invest, INVEST!

24. You will see school kids walking down from your secondary school and recognise a grand total of nil pupils from your time at school. Then you will feel old and wonder what happened to your fellow classmates…

25. You will realise that 90s RnB was the pinnacle of music. TLC, Destinys Child and old school JLo — you just don’t get any better than Bills Bills Bills. Kisstory is your friend, fellow mid-twentiers!

Happy Friday x 


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