Why are we obsessed with finding happiness?

Throughout my adult life and probably through a lot of my teens I spent a lot of time thinking well if I lost 2 stone I would be happy or if I met a hunky man that would be happiness. Maybe if I grew my hair and wore less casual clothes I would realise that this is what happiness is and I would ultimately feel like I am a fully blown adult. Lighter, with a hunky man on my arm in a power blazer I would wake up and think to myself I am now an adult. A happy adult.

The funny thing about this way of thinking is that life isn’t all happy. No one goes through their lifetime with eternal, undisrupted happiness. It just doesn’t happen. Life is a series of ups and down – you celebrate the ups, you enjoy them and you learn from the downs while growing as a person. That is life. It isn’t one ongoing flat road of smiles and laughter. You will cry, you will feel lost beyond belief and you will sometimes wonder whether you are doing anything right. That is life.

I am not exempt from this way of thinking, far from it. I used to really believe that certain elements of my life needed a change and then it would all be happy. Wrong. Sure I do feel better after having lost weight – I had more confidence and was more content but it wasn’t all of a sudden, boom happiness. That is the thing about happiness, it takes work. Daily work. You have to choose to be happy and maintain the actions that make you happy, truly happy.


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Four things to bring happiness into your life

Stop comparing yourself to others : We all do it. It is easy to do but when you remove that comparrison to your peers you will feel so much better. A little competition is never a bad thing but forever comparing yourself to some who is living their own life won’t bring you happiness.

Change the voice in your head : You know when you hear all the negative, nasty comments flying around your head – you need to stop them. They aren’t healthy. You would never dream of saying to someone that they were fat or that they were ugly so why say it to yourself. Be your own cheerleader.

Find your happy place : It isn’t so much a place, more of a thing. Whether that is sitting in your bed reading a book before sleep or getting your trainers on and going for a run. Maybe it is doing a little bit of yoga. Do something that makes you happy, clears your head and gives you a little bit of well earned ‘me-time’.

Do you! : If wearing red lipstick makes you feel like the best version of yourself – then wear it. If jet black kohl liner makes you feel sassier, smarter and more intersting then apply it like there is no tomorrow. Experiment and have fun with what you are doing because at the end of the day you want to go out and take on the day feeling like the best version of yourself.


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In my opinion, we put too much emphasis on how a single action or change will make everything in life perfect and wonderful. Happiness, I think, comes in many shapes and forms. We can’t put our entire happiness on one thing. That isn’t life. There are so many facets that make it up and so many things that change that are ultimately out of our control. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, celebrate the little things in life that make you happy because in the bigger picture those are no doubt the things that do truly make you happy day in, day out. Not the big hunky man that you might meet next week in the line at Tesco. Make yourself happy with things that you enjoy doing, don’t put all your hopes on finding ‘happiness’ from a factor that is out of your control and that potentially won’t bring you the happiness you really are searching for.