• Emma

A high maintenance female



needing a lot of work to keep in good condition

(of a person) demanding a lot of attention

Recently (I say recently it was about 3 months ago and I am only now getting round to writing this, must work on time management) I was jokingly told I was high maintenance. It was quickly then added that that isn't a bad thing. Like most things in life, your definition of being high-maintenance and whether it is a positive or negative quality is relative.  When it was said to me, I took it as negative aspect of my character. Did this mean that I was demanding or that I was needy? I probably can be both of these things in one way or another and in different aspects of my life. Did I spend too long getting ready in the morning? Was I rude and un-apologetically driven to get what I wanted?

After thinking about it and considering both sides of the coin, I settled with the point of view that being deemed 'high-maintenance' isn't the worst thing that I could be called and definitely isn't the worst thing that I could, would or have said to myself. Being female we are continually told that looking after your appearance, knowing what you want and going head first to get it or standing up and asking for what you want makes you a bitch or makes you big headed and vain. When it comes down to it these aren't necessarily negative character traits. What is so wrong with a woman being interested in her appearance, having a clear idea of who she wants to be and where she wants to be? I have spoken about my feelings on the view that having an interest in fashion and beauty must mean that you are thick, there is nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance and wanting to represent yourself as the best possible version of yourself. Of course no one is perfect and this representation of yourself may not be how you always are but if the armour of a great coat or a red lipstick helps you to feel like you are ready for what the world is going to throw at you then bloody go for it! This doesn't make you high maintenance. This makes you human and could also be an indicator that you are vulnerable and not as strong as you present yourself.

Emotionally high maintenance, this is different.

You need to know where you stand with a guy or you need a bit of attention every now and then from friends. That's fine. Needing to know where you stand with someone is not a bad thing. Life is short and you should value the relationships you have both the romantic and the platonic, the way you exercise the need to know this can be a contributing factor for being labelled emotionally high maintenance. The same can be said for wanting attention, everyone at some point or other needs a little bit of personal gratification - I am very guilty of this and I can be quite demanding with my friends when it comes to getting attention but I am also the sort of person that needs my space and doesn't need attention all the time. My close friends know this and being the good friends that they are are willing to satisfy this need when it comes knocking but will also give me the space I crave without qualm.

This characteristic doesn't make you a bad person, there are hundreds of other things you could be called that I believe are much worse. Sure you know what you want and are willing to work for it, ask for it and make it clear that you have this goal in mind but that doesn't make you full of yourself or a worse person than the girl two seats in front of you on the bus. If a man was to present himself as well put together and taking an interest in his appearance and future it may well be that he called a 'hustler' or a 'go-getter' there wouldn't be a stigma hanging over this man due to how he looks, presents himself or the level of ambition that he has.

After reviewing being called 'high maintenance' I'm not actually bothered. Yes, I like makeup and putting it on along with nice clothes that make me feel like the best representation of myself and I also have a clear idea of what I would like to do and where I would like to be in 5 years time but that doesn't make it a bad thing to be.

What are you your thoughts on being labelled high maintenance?


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